An unsent letter

Hey you...

It seems like yesterday how things were good and to bad and to worst. What a rollecoaster ride we went thru ..

Since the day you left LB, since the last time I hugged you at Ampang Park LRT and since the gig, those flashes of memories are and will always be somewhat a journey into falling in love with someone. Needless to say, I wish we coulda been strong to take a step forward and wished we coulda accept our flaws for who we are.

You were my jakarta. You were my inspiration and you were everything i wanted in a girl. Tough, stubborn , focused, decisive, caring and giving. You rock.

funny how i remember every little detail of you and how you smile faintly when i walked by your desk on one fine day as a glimmer of the 9.30am light touches your dimples as you start working. It was intoxicating.

I almost messed up when i didnt remember your name until some weird coincidence it popped up when you ask whether i remembered your name and resh's. sigh, saved by the bell.

Maybe it was just me but if i ever had the chance to see you again, i hope you would already forgotten about me and i already forgotten about you so we can start all over again.

I believe that we were never meant for eachother but our anger , insecurity and our fear take the best of us which pushed our chances even further away.

I don't hate you and you know that. I'm too much of a stubborn headed person to do that when I'm falling for you.

I wish my parents had met you . They would be proud to have you as a daughter- in -law.

Whenever i think of a poem to write, you would pop up.

I would be the luckiest guy in the world if i find a girl that was like you . I would treat her right and I would be an ass at the same time just to be fair for what i did to you . :P

Being with you taught me to feel again,
talking with you made me feel how great it is to connect at a deeper level,
And when i soar too high in the sky, you bring me down to earth just to remind me,
To say "Im falling for you," taught me its not that scary to say it,
I cant even remember the last time i said that to a girl,

Hope that grey hair is controllable cuz that one sticking out is still annoying . hehe

Funny how it seems we've been dating but in the end it sounds like we're breaking up. ..weird

I may have the path set for me in my hands,
I may have gotten to LB without a degree or diploma,
I may have great friends all over the world,
I may have everything that i wanted,
I may have the gift to write,


I just dont have someone to share it with me..
sad isnt it?

How's you lumps? hope its nothing serious about it.
( pointless banter)


Did you know Ikko is a stud now? He's breeding kittens and sometimes they follow him!! But he just acts cool and dont give a shit about it. !!


I miss you so much that sometimes it looks gay and pathetic. But that's gonna die soon and maybe one day i'll send this email or show it to you in a few years time.( after i have a few laughs at it)

I hope i can fall for you again in the future and ask you to be my wife if that day comes. (unless you get married first)

I always had a dream that one day i'll be waking up in an apartment somewhere in KL or another country and as the light sun gently thru my wall of windows, I peeked under the covers next to me to see a girl. The girl would have long black hair , sleepy eyes, a beautiful smile and a tiny strand of grey hair stickin out . :)

And she would look at me and say " good morning rae-rae" and i would reply saying " good morning chagi".

...