For the sake of impressing.

And that's how I became a douche.

When I was in my early 20s, just right around the time when I joined advertising, I craved for attention like a leech craved for blood. I don't know why and I don't know how, but I partly have to blame myself and my insecurities. I wanted people to acknowledge me like I was some hot new shit in town ( when I truth I didn't know jack).

So I became loud, flirty, friendly, and smiley most of the time. It was not even inhuman for a person to be that positive. Heck, I am positive but at that time, it was to the point of annoying. Positivity should have a leash so that it can go out and have a breather.

Along the way, I wasted my time to do what I was supposed to do - win awards and have a strong portfolio. But it didn't cross my mind that I would be paying the price in the future for this move. So zoom 9 years later and still without nothing to be proud of (well some), I often wondered what would happen to my life if I did the opposite - don't impress people.

Anyway, that is the past and what's done is done. All I can hope for is to look forward and start doing something instead of impressing and lazying around on my ass.