I wish Namie Amuro would appear if I am about to say something stupid

Or Hannah Tan will do just fine. Or Kelly Brooke. Or any hot supermodel will do.

Shit. I lost my train of thoughts. Okey focus now, focus.

You know the times when you want to say something and it doesn't sound stupid to you but stupid to the listener? And then your listener will give you this look: wide opened eyes, open mouthed, staring in disbelief, or even trying to hold back the nagging lump of laughter that is stuck between their trachea.

And it leaves a bad impression on you afterwards but you will only notice that when you realized what you've said was actually pretty stupid!

Well you're not alone. I am guilty as charged as well. Not as the listener but the latter.

You see, I've had my fair shares in the past of not thinking before I speak and it still goes on till today. Fuck! It slips out everytime and I don't know how. Maybe I should shift the way I think or really really listen well. I don't know. But it is a serious problem and it's damaging my reputation.

If I still have any.

The aftermath of saying something stupid can be really harsh. In fact, it can affect your career. I realized, and admit it finally, that it is very important to how you carry yourself in whatever you do in your life, especially in the business of communications. Fucking up and saying the wrong things, or stupid things is a no go to rise up in the ranks or even gaining respect.

Personally I think it is stupid but I see this as an opportunity for me to prove myself that I can rise above my current self. And change people's perception about me along the way.

A caterpillar does not stay ugly forever. An ugly duckling does not stay ugly forever.

I don't know the steps to reducing of saying something stupid but I will visualize Namie Amuro or Hannah Tan in my mind whenever it happens.

Because personally I'm getting sick of being the jester. It's time I become the Lord.
The King. The Leader. All those fuckwits and nitwits and shitwits out there that have judged me and branded me as a dolt, fuck you!

I admit. I take responsibility in my actions. And I'm gonna take action now. At this time. At this moment.

Today I draw the line.
Today I step up.
Today I will laugh at you in the face.
Today I will come out of my cocoon.
Today Rae no longer exist.

It's Rey now.